Quest for emotions, quest for words

Hours I sit here with paper & pen.
Staring at the wall, aimlessly.
I dive, I swim in blues of my soul.
To find nothing, after searching relentlessly.

Minute I be in the crowd with people
Jabbering around meaninglessly.
The thoughts, feelings, words all come
running to be spontaneously.

I try to hold on, grab them
in my heart, desperately.
When I try to pen them, they leave my side
That is what happens lately.