The journey towards being a person of no expectations
Or I would rather put it as “Expectations from no one but you”
In the moments of hurt and pain we always claim that it was due to our level of expectations; from a situation, a person may be. Which thus leads us to the act of not expecting anything from the surrounding. We do abide by this thumb rule for a couple of days but ultimately we forget it. And then we again get stabbed by the stone of expectation.
From past 2 years or more I have dug myself into philosophical spiritual books. Robin Sharma’s The monk who sold his Ferrari, who will die when you cry. Books that awaken the power within oneself: the secret and The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. Paulo Coelho’s books which exhibit the hidden truths of our lives: The Alchemist, Adultery, Eleven minutes. Had subscribed to The Holy Bhagwat Gita verses on gmail. Read thousands of quotes on Pinterest, Facebook. Marc and Angels blog is a regular read. Heard a couple of spiritual talks by some leaders. And currently I’m watching the episodes of Mahabharata. All these have different impacts on each and every aspect of my life. But for now I will focus on the expectations game.
A source of the heartaches, tears, sorrows and pain is expectations not being met.
And to overcome this you need to teach you heart and mind to not expect. Inculcating this behavior into yourself is not an easy task.
It has taken me more than a year to be 60% there and still a 40% of me still expects.
“No expectation” is about becoming the whole and soul of your own self. It’s about giving up on your expectations from others. Others may include your good friends, your best friends, your knows, your unknowns. Your siblings too because they too will no longer walk the same path as yours. Some might contradict me, but in the long run you will realize.
This also includes you not being always able to reach the expectations of others. It’s a mutual thing.
When on this path, expectations from others don’t exist and hence that doesn’t hurt you anymore but you breaking the expectations of others doesn’t turn out to be the same. This is because they aren’t at the same thought frequency as yours.
Along with this don’t ever leave expectations from your own self. Try to meet them always.
Above all this always and always meet the expectations of your mother who had you in her womb for 9 months and your father who gave up on his dreams to make yours come true.
The “No Expectations” is not a 1 person process. We humans are bound to be social and hence connected on every end. When I stopped expecting from my fellow friends it also came with an attitude of not staying par to their expectations. I started growing up as individual who is not affected by the actions and reactions of the people around.
The list of expectations in everyday life ranges from very silly to preety high ones.
Your friend not replying to you when you message
A friend not giving you enough time.
A known treats you as his need and not being there when you need.
An unknown not being kind or polite.
A friend judging you wrongly.
A friend leaving you off when you need them.
A lover not giving you enough attention.
A neighbour not giving you a lift to the market
A sibling not having an ear to hear your stories
A friend considering their priorities before yours.
Growing above all this is the best thing you can do. Develop an immunity. And this immunity will be your power of happy living.
Fulfill your expectations from yourself, no matter what reaction your actions will have on people whose expectations don’t bother your world.
Love yourself first, be humble and kind and emit the same out, but don’t dare expect that to reflect back. If it does then be delighted but don’t be drown into it.