How many times have you found yourself in one of these situations?
- In panic, when realising you are in the bus and are short of money to buy your ticket. But the person next to you kindly bought you one.
- Trying endlessly to solve a programming problem, when a colleague just stopped by to ask for coffee, looked into your code and casually pointed out the error.
- You are finding it hard to understand bureaucratic work when someone just offered help to explain and assist you in it.
- When you feel hopeless and helpless in understanding how to deal with your manager and then a casual call to a colleague ends up with a life saving plan.
- When your acquaintance steps up for you against another which makes you feel stronger and that you are not alone.
- When you have a plan to execute but lack the courage and knowledge, various people at different points appear to help you take one step at a time and in a few moments, you are standing at the end of execution.
Well, the list can go on. The base question was, how many times have you felt completely lost, hopeless, helpless and alone and somebody out of nowhere has stepped up being your support in those moments? These people could be your knowns or some random humans doing their act of kindness or Karma towards you. For me, in such moments, I have felt a sense of comfort, tearful joy, my belief restored in magic, serendipity and faith in the Universe.
The oldest encounter of magical moments I can recollect is of my college third year, when our batch was supposed to go on a North India tour. I was incredibly excited about it (I had not yet realised my love for travelling by then). However my excitement was curbed as I realised I didn’t have enough money to make it. I had given up on the tour already as my imagination and belief wasn’t so vast back then. To my surprise, just a few days before the tour, I got a call from my sister. She asked me to check if there are still tickets available for the tour as she had managed the money. Was I amazed? I would say “amaze” would be an understatement. It was a rush of simultaneous feelings in my body which is just hard to describe. I finally got my tickets and I did visit North India – The Taj Mahal, Lotus Temple, Shimla, Manali, snow clad mountains, played in snow, etc etc.
Since then, I remember numerous moments where I received the help and support I needed from unexpected places. I won’t fail to mention that most of these moments were when I had been hopeless and almost cracking. Or rather I would say, the Universe always had and has my back, but I usually don’t see it. The moments I see it clearly is when my eyes are washed with salty water. But it is in moments like these that I have felt jubilant, grateful and ecstatic. It is these moments which stay close to my heart, find a place in my diary and mark it as a reference in my personal life history.
Life is not an easy ride, no doubt. Sometimes the fuel runs out, the tyres wear off, the mirrors get foggy or the engine gives up. We need to repair it by ourselves or we might need expert help based on what the problem is. It is important to know the difference. When we need the expert help, we should know whom to ask for help. We should also believe that we will receive the help we need and an open heart to accept it when we do. At times it is easy and at times it might feel as tough as solving the Rubik’s cube (ah ok, if you are good at it, pick some other example to define your difficulty level please! Don’t fuss!)
I’m no exception to being flawed and an imperfect human and I have these moments where I feel overwhelmed. Nevertheless, what helps is our ancient human history, that mankind has always made past every hurdle we faced. And my-in-the-moment problem is no different or bigger than those already been solved in our history. When overwhelmed, it is important to give yourself that cry or down time, to let yourself feel what you feel. The next important thing to do after the “feel the feel” is to have the courage to just ask. Thousands of articles, quotes, movies, books and people have shown us the proof that a door is opened only when you have knocked. And if it didn’t open, at least we know we got to move to the next door (or window perhaps). So ask for that help. If you don’t receive it unfortunately from the sources you have known, go in the open and wait for it to be heard (like me posting a programming question on Stack Overflow, my favourite go-to). In the wait time though, wait if you can, else be kind and be the person who can help thyself (look within, remember?)
Sometimes we receive help even without asking, these are magical moments and these humans hold a certain kind of compassionate, empathetic and instinctive trait that I immediately admire. When you receive this help, be grateful and accept it with an open heart. Accepting help doesn’t make you any less worthy or incapable.
Sometimes place yourself on the other end. When it is asked, be kind, forgiving and do what holds in your ability. When it is not asked for, be empathetic enough to see past the person. This person might need help but lacks the capacity to ask. Offer what you can while keeping the other person’s discomfort in mind and not make him feel any less. Prime importance is to be fine when the help is not accepted 💔
But let not this change your heart! Be that same Kind Heart and hold Compassion! Your one act of Kindness (however small or big, might not cause thunder, lightning or winds change route, might be in some corner of the world and not being seen) is VALUABLE to make this world a better place, to keep the faith in humanity alive and the hearts warm! 💚
Ending this on a beautiful quote by Kahlil Gibran whose thoughts resonate even in this 21st century
Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution. ~ Kahlil Gibran